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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of July 22nd, 2022.

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Aries: When you cook, and your wife complains about not making a mess while you’re doing it, stop cooking.

Taurus: If the lady that’s getting ready to do your eyebrows, doesn’t have any and she has drawn on some on herself. That make her look real angry. Hard pass

Gemini: When you go out with friends why are you always duck sit next to the mouthful of food talker?

Cancer: Why are you at the Mercedes dealership when really we all know you should be at CarMax?

Leo: After five years of college, your daughter learned a lot about how to party.

Okay. Look at her. Look how she throws that shot back like a mom.

Virgo: why are you planning a family reunion on another whole continent? So certain family members can’t go? And guess what? They’d be the first ones to get their passports.

Libra: Why are you looking for a dorm when you ain’t taking nothing but online classes?

Scorpio: Your new girl invited you ever to watch movies that she was in? How cool. But she’s not wearing clothes in any of them. Oh, you must break up.

Sagittarius: Everybody is scared of you at the office. The problem is it’s your second day on the job.

Capricorn: You know, it’s not gonna be your night. If you take your new lady to a spoken word club and your ex is on the mic.

Aquarius: It’s good policy to start hiding liquor when you see your heavy drinking uncle pull into the driveway. You got like two minutes to get it gone.

Pisces: Your man may be slow if you mentioned about receiving some subpoenas and he says he knew you had been cheating on him.

 

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Russ Parr Morning Show’s Daily Horrorscope For July 22nd, 2022  was originally published on blackamericaweb.com